


Masuri Suri

by Mouseferatu



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: (the Sookai is the fluff lol), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Background Sookai being cute veterinarians together, Beomgyu is persistent, Fluff and Angst, Hate is a strong word, Hate to Love, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Street & Stage Magic, Taehyun is a judgy bitch, im not sure how long this will end up being, more like distaste, possibly, taegyu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-05-15 02:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19286425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouseferatu/pseuds/Mouseferatu
Summary: Taehyun has been practicing stage magic for so long that by now the cards flit between his fingers all on their own. He had fallen in love with the sense of wonder, the bewildered faces staring at his hands as if they could touch other dimensions. Perhaps he could, if he tried hard enough. What he did not love was the way other magicians would flaunt their craft like a cheap party trick. Or in Beomgyu's case, a very expensive, low-effort party trick. He had managed to avoid the displeasure of meeting the Dazzling Beomgyu, the local aficionado of gaudy sleight of hand, until Kai forcibly dragged him to his show. Now that he had, he couldn't get the blonde's obnoxious smirk out of his head. He was stubborn, and determined to continue ignoring Beomgyu's entire existence for the rest of eternity. However, Kai has his own form of sleight of hand and decided its time to make full use of it.





	1. What is This, the 90's?

The best way Taehyun could describe Beomgyu's style of magic is flashy. Like a Las Vegas nightclub magician, he was always promoting his daring new stunts that made 'sawing a person in half' look tame. His latest performance had him miraculously escaping a set of padlocked chains from within a locked car that was slowly being crushed. Like he said, flashy.

Taehyun's magic was certainly more understated. He didn’t even perform regularly, preferring to pull coins from behind children's ears and making cards disappear on a whim, enjoying the amusing reactions of his impromptu audiences. He tended to be casual about it, though he was obviously talented. See, magic meant something to him; it wasn’t a toy or a trick or a way to make money. It wasn’t even about deception. To Taehyun, magic was the art of making people happy, of reminding them that there is still wonder in the world.

He didn’t keep up with the local scene, but he was familiar enough to know about _the Dazzling Beomgyu_. It'd be hard not to; flyers for his performances papered the exterior of every club and venue in a hundred mile radius. It was definitely not Taehyun's type of magic, too much spectacle and no finesse. Yet he begrudgingly found himself in the audience of one of Beomgyu's shows at the behest of his friend Kai. Kai was a few months younger than him, a fact which Taehyun made sure to use to his advantage whenever necessary. The two had met while Taehyun was practicing his card tricks at the park. Kai had walked right up to him and sat down in the grass at the boy's feet. His eyes glistened with fascination, following every trace of a spade or diamond. That same look graced Kai's soft features tonight, his fingers curling around the edge of his seat. He held his breath while the jaws of a compactor pressed down on the body of a cherry red convertible. Truthfully, Taehyun couldn’t help but feel more concerned for the car than the man. What a waste of a perfectly usable car.

Within minutes, the windows on the convertible began to shatter, the sound echoing against the hushed crowd. At the very last second before the steel buckled under the pressure, Beomgyu pressed himself out of the shrinking hole where the windshield used to be. With an exaggerated wrist flourish, he bowed to thunderous applause as the car was destroyed behind him.

Taehyun knew Beomgyu would escape, knew exactly _how_ he escaped, but for Kai's benefit he feigned wonder when the younger boy shot him a look of open mouthed astonishment. He knew from his body language that Beomgyu had unlocked the chains approximately 10 seconds before he jumped out the window, and wondered whether the man used slack in the chains or just standard lock-picking. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the audience, so easily impressed by gaudy showmanship!

Suddenly, he felt himself being dragged to his feet and into the throng of people pushing forward towards the stage. "Come on, he said he'd do signings after the show!!" Kai waved a photograph of Beomgyu in his face. In it he was wearing a top hat, a red jacket with coattails, and had a small white rabbit perched in his arms. Taehyun cringed. _What is this, the 90's?_ He didn't sign up for this, but he sighed and resigned himself to being pulled through the crowd. Kai might have looked gentle but he could have a death grip when he wanted to. Better to just play along.

Staff formed a hasty line along the wall of the venue reaching towards a small table where Beomgyu sat, the remnants of wrist chains clinking as he gestured broadly to the woman in front of him. It was impossible for Taehyun to take this man seriously, but he'd suffer and wait in line for Kai's sake.

He had intended to get out of line once Kai had been gestured forward by staff to get his signature, but he found himself pinned to the wall as a group of teens rushed pass him, excitedly showing off their own signed cards to one another. Before he could walk away, he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder. Turning, he saw a staff member ushering him towards the red-clothed table. "Oh, no, I'm not-" he tried to clarify, but the staff member had already pushed him forward and was readying the next person in line.

Despite his desire to entertain, Taehyun wasn't exactly good with people. He preferred spending time perfecting his techniques rather than performing, and he needed ample time to hype himself up before any event. Even in non-magic situations he could be a bit of a wallflower, preferring observation over interaction. It wasn't that he didn't like people, after all they made up every audience. He just...couldn't seem to connect with anyone, or maybe it was that no one was able to connect with him. A classic chicken and the egg question, with the answer proving just as pointless. He didn't have many friends, Kai being his closest. Connecting seemed irrelevant to Kai, the boy could emotionally connect with a stuffed rabbit. Still, it was nice to have some companionship and Taehyun was grateful for his friendship. Grateful enough to come to this god awful performance and be forced to talk to the blonde haired hack calling himself a magician. Before he could steady himself, Taehyun was already standing in front of the table.

"Hi, thanks for coming to my show! Dazzling, wasn't it?" Beomgyu asked in a cheery voice. A brilliant smile graced his lips as he held out a hand for whatever it was he needed to sign.

"Oh, I um, I don't have anything to sign..." Taehyun stammered, patting his pockets futilely.

"No worries, this is why we have backups!" Beomgyu pulled a glossy photograph from the side of the table, flicking it between his fingers several times before making it vanish. "Oops! Must've lost it!" he giggled, before calmly pulling it out from behind his back. Beomgyu had expected a chuckle at the very least, but Taehyun's utter lack of a reaction threw him off balance, his smile faltering. Quickly, he grabbed the pen and scribbled his signature across the photo before thrusting it at Taehyun, who did not reach for it.

"I know how you did it." He said flatly.

"Pardon?"

"Escaping the chains. Easy stuff, a five year old could do it. Did you really need to destroy a car, though?"

Beomgyu's eyes narrowed as he cleared his throat. His arm started to twitch as he continued to hold out the signed photograph that this indignant man was making no motion to take. "All part of the show, sir, although I assure you the car was not in workable condition despite it's beautiful outward appearance." Still Taehyun did not move. Frustrated, Beomgyu shook the photo at him. His voice deepened with a subtle warning, "Sir, there are others waiting."

Taehyun couldn’t explain the lurching frustration that was causing heat to flush his cheeks. He yanked the photo from Beomgyu's hand, startling the blonde. He crumpled it harshly before smashing it down on the table with a loud bang. Beomgyu furrowed his brows, visibly annoyed. Waiting a beat, and without ever breaking eye contact, he pulled his hands away slowly, revealing the perfectly smooth signed photograph.

Beomgyu's mouth gaped slightly as he stared down at his crinkle-free signature, unsure of how to react. A staff member moved to escort the small but threatening man away, but before they could reach him Beomgyu held up his hand, signaling for them to wait. He glanced up at Taehyun, his eyes glinting and a red tint creeping up his throat. Snatching the photo, he scribbled on it quickly and thrust it into Taehyun's hands by force. Instantly he signaled staff and a strong hand grabbed Taehyun's arm, pushing him away from the table at a brisk pace. His mouth hanging open in surprise, Taehyun turned in time to watch Beomgyu plaster a smile across his face, already welcoming the next person in line.

Despite repeated protests, the staff walked him all the way across the venue to the exit. "I get it, I get it, I'm leaving...God.." Taehyun scoffed, wrenching his arm free. Luckily Kai had been waiting for him. Unluckily the boys face was flush with annoyance.

"Do you really have to try to show off to every magician you meet, Taehyun?" His voice was a few notes lower than usual. "You do this every time!" he yelled, stamping his feet childishly.

Taehyun bristled. "I'd hardly call that magic." He stared blankly at the floor, shame pooling in his chest though he'd never admit it.

"Ugh, whatever, let's just go.." Reaching into his bag, Kai drew out a set of keys and began walking toward the parking lot.

After a moment, Taehyun remembered the photograph in his hand and scanned the area for the closest trash can. Just as he was about to toss it into the bin, he caught sight of what Beomgyu had so viciously slashed into the paper before forcing him to take the gaudy thing. His mouth dropped open.

Carved into the photo, right below the white rabbit, was a phone number.


	2. Entry Level Magic

“But why do I have to go?” Taehyun whined, reluctantly opening the car door and stepping out.

“I drove, it's only fair for you to get the snacks!” Kai called after him, giggling. Taehyun was always so uptight. When they first met that day in the park, Taehyun had been so focused on perfecting his card spins that he hadn't noticed the boy sitting in front of him until the younger had spoken up. He had been less than pleased about having a sudden audience, and stood up as if to leave before the pout on Kai's face rooted him to the spot. It was that same pout that had driven him into the gas station in search of snacks and soda.

Kai watched Taehyun through the windows, daydreaming absentmindedly. A subtle light reflected off something on the passenger side floorboard, catching Kai's gaze. He stretched to reach and gingerly picked up the photograph Taehyun had so carelessly discarded. Kai thought about playfully scolding Tae for littering, but that thought ground to a halt when he saw the phone number scribbled on the bottom of the photo.

“Well, that's a very special signature.” He smirked, glancing up to see Taehyun walking back to the car twirling a small grocery bag in his hand. Kai quickly threw the photo on the floorboard where he found it and tried to put a lazy smile on his face.

Taehyun slid into the passenger seat. “I got peach soda and chips, and I got you banana milk and a honeybun. I swear I don't understand how you can eat those, Kai, they're too sweet.” He handed the treat to Kai, who was grateful to have something to hide the grin sneaking from the corners of his mouth.

“So, how did you like the show?” Kai asked, his voice lilting with amusement.

Taehyun shot him a look, eyes wide but sharp. He crunched a chip loudly.

“About what I expected,” Kai laughed. “Seems like you really made an impression on,” he lowered his voice to mimic the performer, wiggling his eyebrows, _“the Dazzling Beomgyu.”_

Taehyun felt the heat return to his cheeks and scoffed, looking away. “I don't care what kind of impression I made. He's a show off and doesn't understand the most basic principles of magic.”

“Oh, and what are those, Houdini?” Kai asked, playfully indignant.

He rolled his eyes. “That it's not about you.” He could sense the quizzical expression on Kai's face without even having to look at him. “You may be the one on stage, but the most important part of any magic show is the audience.”

Kai shook his head. “Wait, I'm confused. In the three years we've been friends, I haven't seen you perform a single time. Meanwhile, Beomgyu just gave a sold out performance and you are criticizing him for not caring about his audience?”

“You make it sound like he packed a stadium, there were like 200 people there.” Taehyun retorted.

Kai smirked at him, arms crossed, waiting for him to stop avoiding the question.

He sighed, putting down his bag of chips and taking a long swig of his peach soda. _Why am I being so evasive?_ he wondered. “Look, my point is that Beomgyu doesn't care about how his audience feels, just how they feel about _him.”_

Kai burst out laughing. Taehyun turned to look at him abruptly, his mouth open and eyebrows furrowed. Kai wrapped his arms tightly around his own waist, trying to contain the giggles still erupting from his throat at Taehyun's expression. “Have you,” he gasped for air, “have you tried asking him?”

“I don't care enough to ask.” Taehyun pursed his lips and set his chin in his hand, staring out the windshield. He tried to read the signs hanging on gas station's windows, but he couldn't focus.

Kai let out a low rumbling “hmm,” before nodding his head a few times. “I see. Well, anyway, why don't we take a selfie as proof that you do actually leave your house sometimes?” he grinned, grabbing Taehyun's phone from the cupholder between them.

“Why my phone?” Taehyun protested, but Kai was too quick. “Better camera, now come here!”

He leaned towards Taehyun and made the V sign at the camera, a soft expression on his face. Taehyun tried to smile, but he wasn't confident that it looked like one. Shifting back to his own seat, Kai typed quickly before handing the phone over to Taehyun. “Now, snack time!” he shouted before chomping down on his honeybun.

**+×+**

The photo turned out decent, which was a good thing as Kai had already plastered it all over social media. Taehyun loved Kai, but sometimes the kid could be a bit draining, with all that energy channeled into one person. Kai had dropped him off at home, and he immediately made a cup of tea to help him relax. Setting it on his bedside table, he crawled beneath his comforter, pulled it up to his shoulders and reached for the book he had been reading. _How to Be an Illusionist._ Card tricks were his specialty, but that didn't stop him from wanting to expand his repertoire, and illusions had always been a challenge for him. He wasn't socially graceful enough to pull them off with confidence, at least not yet. _The best way to improve is to master what is hardest,_ he thought. Before he could get a page in, he was interrupted by the soft buzz of his phone. He grabbed it fully expecting a ‘got home safely!’ message from Kai, which he always sent after dropping Taehyun off. It was endearing, if a bit silly.

It wasn't Kai.

Taehyun sat in shock staring at the message, before swearing to murder Kai on sight.

There were an overwhelming amount of things wrong with this. Of all things Kai could have sent, he sent a wink emoji. A _wink emoji._ Taehyun decided Kai's murder would be slow. It was only fair. He shook his head to clear the thoughts of different torture devices, reading the messages over again.

Cute? Intimidating? Wait, _cute??_ Taehyun bristled. He knew he was cute thank you very much, but hearing it from Beomgyu made his face flush. _God, he's insufferable,_ he thought before typing a response. Beomgyu must've been staring at his phone, as he replied within moments.

Taehyun groaned before pretending to gag. Was Beomgyu seriously trying to flirt with him?

_Fuck._


	3. Nothing to Show

A doorbell jingled as Taehyun walked into the Crown and Horn book store, straightening his blazer. It was a little stuffy inside the shop, and he knew he’d regret wearing it. He didn’t quite know why he’d even worn it in the first place. While preparing to leave the house, he had stopped in front of the hall mirror thinking his plain white button-up might look a bit too casual. He’d grabbed the blazer without thinking, slipping it around his small frame as he locked the front door behind him.

“Taehyun! It is good to see you young man, it has been too long,” greeted the shopkeeper, an elderly man in a grey cardigan with a warm smile. “What brings you here today?”

“That would be me!” Taehyun followed the voice and found Beomgyu sitting at a small table set further back in the shop against a shelf crammed with books. Biographies, from the look of it. The blonde waved at Taehyun enthusiastically before motioning for him to join him. Taehyun bowed to the owner, hoping that the man could read the look of panic on his face and maybe provide an escape route if he really needed it. The owner smiled back at him and bowed before beginning to stack books onto a cart behind the counter. Taehyun turned to face Beomgyu.

The blonde looked _good._ He wore a black and white striped collared shirt casually tucked into black skinny jeans, a black choker around his neck. His hair was pin-straight, brushing his eyebrows delicately. Taehyun hated it. He tugged at the front of his blazer compulsively before walking over.

  **+×+**  

He can’t think of a single thing he is less interested in doing than sitting across from Beomgyu with a pile of blank paper sprawled on the table between them. Taehyun gritted his teeth while rubbing his temples. “You can escape a pair of handcuffs in under ten seconds, how are you not getting this?” His voice prickled in his throat.

Beomgyu smirked, waving his hands up and down. “Just - Just show me one more time, I’ll get it, I promise,” he pleaded.

Taehyun rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing _to_ show.” He gestured towards a sheet of paper on the left side of the table, sliding it into his palm. “You were so focused on me snatching the photo from you that you didn’t notice when I grabbed one of the photographs off the table with my other hand.” He shook his right hand, drawing Beomgyu’s eyes to it as he subtly pulled that paper off the table too. “I crushed that one instead and when I slammed it on the table, I had already placed the signed photo down.” He crumpled the paper and smashed both hands down onto the table before sliding them back to reveal the perfectly flat paper. He turned his right hand over, revealing the crushed paper hidden in his palm.

The blonde plucked the paper from his hand, holding it up to the light and pretending to examine it closely. Face still arched toward the ceiling, he shifted his eyes until he caught Taehyun’s. “So what you’re telling me is that you’re good with your hands,” he beamed at the brunette.

Taehyun clasped his hands in front of his face, sighing deeply. “I know you didn’t ask me here to talk about a dumb trick you understood when I showed you the first time, if not the fifth. What do you really want, Beomgyu?”

Beomgyu hesitated before whispering, “You.”

Taehyun choked, trying to control his breathing. Despite his best efforts, he felt his throat constricting. He glared at Beomgyu, at his nice clothes and absolutely irritating smile. That smile dissolved as Taehyun stood up abruptly, gathering his things. “If you can’t take this seriously, then there’s nothing more I can teach you,” he spat.

Beomgyu went to speak, but Taehyun held up his hand, cutting him off. “I know what you’re doing. You think just because you’re more charismatic and have a big following that you can bring me out here and mock me right to my face like I’m some sort of amateur.” He could feel the anger surging through his body, causing him to sway on his feet slightly. “I won’t stand for it.” He spun around and walked briskly out of the shop.

The blonde stared after him mouth agape, unable to react. Feeling the shopkeeper’s weighted gaze on him, he clamped his mouth shut, staring at the warped wooden floor beneath his feet. “...Beomgyu, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out a bit short, I hope that doesn't bother anyone! I'll work hard to get the next chapter out soon :)


	4. Don't Jinx Yourself

Taehyun slammed his apartment door shut and collapsed onto the couch. Snatching up a pillow and clutching it tightly, he tried to ignore the frustration building in his chest. _Who the hell does he think he is?_ he thought bitterly. He tried to bite back tears, but he couldn’t keep in the small whimper that left his mouth.

“Tae are you okay?”

He screamed, instinctively throwing the pillow at where the voice had come from. Kai let out a yelp and ducked. Taehyun stared at him blankly. “How- how did you even get in here?” He asked in a hushed voice.

A smirk graced Kai’s lips as he held up a small key. “Remember a few months ago when you were sick and you begged me to bring you cherry ice cream because you thought it’d be your last meal on earth?”

Taehyun sighed but said nothing, wringing his hands in his lap. The couch dipped as Kai sat beside him, slotting an arm around his shoulder. “You’re really good at avoiding my questions, ya know.”

“Huh? Oh...yeah I’m, I’m okay.” He winced at how unconvincing his words were. Kai shook his head but held a smile, rubbing his hand along Taehyun’s arm softly. The kind gesture broke Taehyun and the tears he had been holding back came tumbling out. “I don’t know why I went or what I expected, but I wish I had never left my house.” His voice cracked. “He mocked me, made me feel like such a joke. I don’t know what I did to him, but I don’t deserve him making me look like a fool."

“Tae, slow down. What happened, who hurt you, who am I fighting?” Kai asked, pulling the crying boy close to him.

“That stupid hack,” was all Taehyun could manage to get out.

“Ah...Beomgyu? What did he do?”

Taehyun sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “He wanted to meet at the bookstore, asked me to teach him that paper trick. I should’ve never done that stupid trick in the first place, I should’ve just walked right out of that venue and into the street and into oncoming traffic.”

Kai snorted, ruffling Taehyun’s hair. “I’m glad you didn’t, Tae,” he said softly.

He looked up at Kai’s gentle expression and offered him a weak smile in return. “I met him at the bookstore and I showed him how to do it, but he just kept saying stupid comments like,” Taehyun twisted his voice into a mocking tone, “ _‘Wow you’re so talented’_ or _‘you must be good with your hands’_.

  
Kai was silent for a moment, before speaking hesitantly, “Those sound like compliments to me...”

“Well, they weren’t!” Taehyun shouted, causing Kai to flinch. He lowered his voice and grumbled, “He was mocking me, Kai. He must’ve been pissed off that I was rude to him at his show and thought it’d be a great idea to drag me out in public and make me look like an idiot.” Leaning back into the sofa, he covered his face with his hands.

A soft buzz echoed in the silence. He slid his hands down to his chin, looking at his phone in fear, but saw Kai holding his own phone and typing rapidly with a goofy grin on his face. Taehyun continued, “He had me show him how to do the trick like six times, and I know he probably understood it even before I taught him, he just wanted me to explain such a basic dumb trick to prove how his magic is better than mine. It especially hurt when he kept looking at his phone instead of his best friend who was pouring his heart out to him.”

Kai hummed while nodding, not looking up. Tae hit him with a pillow. “Ouch! What was that for?” the boy demanded.

“For ignoring me.” Taehyun crossed his arms, frowning.

Kai put his phone on the coffee table and turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I’m here, I’m focused Tae.” His phone buzzed again and his eyes flicked to the screen impulsively.

“Seriously?” Taehyun chided. He shot Kai a dirty look as the boy reached for his phone again.

“I’m listening Tae, just let me put my phone on silent.” Taehyun could see his eyes darting back and forth as he read something on the screen. He rolled his eyes and stood up, walking towards the kitchen. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t feel like talking about that asshole anymore.”

Kai put his phone down and trailed his eyes after Taehyun before resting his head on the back of the couch and giving his best pout. The other didn’t bother to look at him, instead pulling two small cups from the cabinet and setting them beside the stove. “So what has you so excited that you’re glued to your phone?” he asked tentatively, flicking the burner on.

Kai couldn’t help the grin that bloomed on his face. He tilted his head and gave the ceiling a dreamy gaze. “He’s a who, not a what, and what he is, is an incredibly cuddly bunny.” He heard a laugh from the kitchen that was quickly smothered by the sound of the kettle whistling. After a minute, Taehyun walked into the living room and placed two steaming cups on the table. “What’d you make me?” Kai asked, waving his hand over his cup excitedly.

“Hot cocoa, do you even drink anything else?” Taehyun asked rhetorically. “So, let me get this straight. You’re texting a rabbit?”

Kai giggled and patted Taehyun on the tummy. “No silly! How could a bunny even type on a phone, they only have teeny wittle paws.” He held up his hands, pretending to have paws. Taehyun deeply considered why he was friends with this adult-shaped child. “He’s not a rabbit, he just _looks_ like a rabbit, if rabbits looked like tall, adorably clumsy, super smart men.”

Taehyun made puking noises and Kai hit him playfully. “And how did you meet this bunny man?” he asked, blowing on his tea before gingerly taking a sip.

Kai blushed. The boy was practically vibrating with happiness. “His name is Soobin, he’s a specialty vet who visited our clinic last week. Tae, he’s so cute oh my gosh. He doesn’t work at a clinic like me, he travels to farms and stuff and he even said he might be able to get me into the off-limits areas at the zoo. You know what’s at the zoo, Tae? Penguins! He could take me to see penguins!” He sighed contently, drinking his cocoa with a hum. “He’s perfect.”

Taehyun put a smile on his face. “He sounds great, I’m happy for you Kai.” And he was, or at least he was trying to be. He wished he could have something, anything, resembling love, even puppy love like this. Kai was always trying to get him to open up to others, to let someone in, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had tried in the past, but every failed relationship had just left Taehyun more hollow inside. He hated being alone, but being vulnerable like that was too much of a risk. What if eventually there was nothing left of him but a broken shell? What if no one was genuinely capable of loving him? ...Did he even deserve to be loved?

“...think he’d actually be interested in me, but he asked for my number before he left! You should’ve seen him, he’s so cute when he’s nervous! So I gave it to him and we’ve been messaging ever since. He said the last animal he worked with was a tiger, a tiger! Can you imagine? I bet that’s really scary, just like when your friend who just accused you of not listening isn’t listening to you either.” Kai gave Taehyun a sideways glance, catching the pensive look on the brunette’s face. He was about to snap his fingers to get the boys attention, but thought better of it at the last moment and instead he put his hand on Taehyun’s knee, drawing him out of his thoughts. “What if they really were compliments?”

Confusion swept over Taehyun’s face, quickly overtaken by disregard. “They weren’t,” he said firmly.

“Okay, okay, at least hear me out first, yeah? For all your observation skills, reading people isn’t really your strong suit.” Taehyun couldn’t disagree.. “I don’t know what makes you so sure he was mocking you, but I’m not convinced. There’s definitely a chance that he was being genuine.”

Taehyun felt his chest lurch again and a weight gather in his throat. “Are you saying that he was actually flirting with me?” he asked quietly, staring at the floor with unfocused eyes.

Kai nodded eagerly. “There’s a possibility, yeah.”

After a long moment Taehyun looked up with an unreadable expression. “Gross.”

 

**+×+**

 

“I...I think I fucked up, Jun.” Beomgyu sat at the kitchen table, head in his hands. He was burning a hole through the table with his eyes when a plate of food slid into his line of sight. He glanced up. Yeonjun was standing beside him, lips curled in a small smile. “Oh no, don’t you start pitying me, you know I hate when you do that, Jun...You can still make me depression waffles, though,” he said, picking up a fork and timidly picking at the warm dessert in front of him. He had even went through the trouble of adding strawberries and whipped cream.

Yeonjun dropped into the seat beside Beomgyu. “I mean you fuck up daily, but what happened this time?”

He threw a napkin at the grey-haired boy, who dodged it easily. Groaning, he whispered, “I scared him off…”

“I’m sorry, who are we talking about?” Yeonjun asked, puzzled.

Beomgyu sat still for a moment, stabbing his waffle absentmindedly. “I met someone, at my show the other day. He’s a magician too, came to my signing after and did a cute trick for me where he pretended to crumple up my photo. Sure, it was a bit,” he paused, searching for the right word, “...vaguely threatening?...but I thought maybe he’s just coming on strong, ya know? So I gave him my number and I thought he was interested when he first messaged me, but he turned cold when I replied. I chalked it up to him being nervous, and asked him out. I said I wanted him to teach me that trick. He accepted, though now that I think about it, I don’t think he knew I meant it as a date...” He sighed, pushing his plate away from him. “Anyway, when we met I tried flirting with him, but he just kept brushing it off. I can’t take a fucking hint apparently and didn’t know how irritated he was until he got up and stormed out...”

Yeonjun nodded solemnly, sliding the waffle in front of him and grabbing Beomgyu’s fork. “Yeah, it sounds like you fucked up dude.”

Beomgyu rested his head on the back of his chair, looking at Yeonjun with a blank expression. “You’re always so supportive, Junie,” his voice was edged with playful sarcasm.

“It’s why you love me,” Yeonjun retorted with a smirk. He cut off a big piece of Beomgyu’s waffle and ate it, twirling the fork in his hand before pointing it at Beomgyu. “If I know anything about your sorry ass, and I do, it’s that you’re persistent. So quit moping and try talking to him again. Maybe try not to be as much of an obnoxious flirt this time and talk to him like a human being instead of a potential fling.”

“You make me sound so creepy!” Beomgyu complained, sticking his tongue out at him.

“Well, ya did freak the poor kid out,” he shot back.

“Shut up…” Beomgyu said weakly. He went silent for a minute, watching Yeonjun eat his waffle. “...what do I even say to him?”

Yeonjun finished chewing and said, “You’re a magician, why don’t you do a trick for him back?”

Beomgyu hummed in contemplation. “I’ll give it a shot, I guess. Probably can’t fuck up more than I already have.”

“Don’t jinx yourself.”

**+×+**

Taehyun’s mood improved significantly after spending the rest of the day with Kai. Sure, the boy had spent nearly the whole time gushing about Soobin, but he enjoyed playfully teasing him about his crush. Taehyun learned that Soobin was an animal behaviorist, and that his favorite colors were sky blue and yellow which Kai was determined to wear every day just in case the man showed up at his clinic again. He enjoyed seeing Kai so upbeat, his happiness was infectious. They had ordered take out and sat on the floor watching bad movies on tv until it had gotten dark out. By the end of the day, Taehyun was laughing easily.

Now that he was alone though, he felt the conflicted thoughts from earlier creeping back into his mind. He shook his head, desperately trying to escape the overwhelming feeling of anxiety. It occurred to him that meditation usually helped him concentrate and relax, so he pulled up some white noise on his phone and climbed into bed. Closing his eyes, he focused on each part of his body, willing it to release the tension it held.

He had been meditating for almost an hour, nearly falling asleep, when the audio from his phone cut out. _That’s unusual, the file is like twelve hours long_ , he thought. Slowly, he brought himself back to awareness. When he opened his eyes, he saw moonlight pooling on his bedside table. _What time even is it?_ He stretched a bit before grabbing his phone and turning on the screen. Once again, he was shocked by what he saw.

Hesitantly he clicked on the video, unaware that the pace of his breathing had quickened. He watched as Beomgyu’s hands moved into frame and picked up the paper. Slowly he crushed it and ‘smoothed’ it back out, exactly as Taehyun had taught him earlier. Only, he had added his own twist…

 

Taehyun could feel his hands trembling, his vision blurring with tears. _What is he doing to me?_ He threw his phone across the bed, mind racing. Suddenly, he dove after it, pulling up Beomgyu’s message. He typed and erased and typed again. Every word came out wrong, he couldn’t figure out the right words to say. Nothing felt right, but he typed one last message and hit send. Out of fear he turned his phone off and closed his eyes, wishing for sleep that he knew would not come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is nice and long ^x^ I hope you enjoyed it!


	5. A Love of the Unusual

He had gone to the bookstore early hoping that the familiar setting would calm his nerves. Sitting at the same table as the day before, Taehyun curled into the soft leather armchair. He was trying to read a book by Ricky Jay that he had been eyeing for the past few weeks, but found himself skimming the same paragraph over and over without any of the words sinking in. He sighed and closed the book, using his finger to mark the page. His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to steady his breathing. _Why am I so nervous?_

“Oh, hello again.”

He jumped, tossing the book in the air accidentally, crashing to the floor. People really needed to stop sneaking up on him. With a panicked heartbeat, he peeked around the edge of the chair.

The shopkeeper tried to stifle a laugh for Taehyun’s sake as he knelt to pick up the dropped book. The old man handed it back and sat in the chair across from him. “I’m sorry to frighten you, I didn’t hear you come in earlier. I see you’re reading _Celebrations of Curious Characters_. I knew you would like it, you’ve always had a love of the unusual.” He offered Taehyun a warm smile which the boy heartily returned. “I actually ordered it with you in mind.”

“You know me well, Mr. Kim. I didn’t mean to sneak in. I am waiting for someone, I hope that you’ll allow us to spend some time here.” His voice felt smaller than he had intended.

A look of concern washed over the shopkeeper’s face. “You’re always welcome here Mr. Kang, you know this. I hope I am not being presumptuous, but may I ask who you are meeting?”

A blush appeared on Taehyun’s cheeks and he cast a fearful look towards the floor. “Ah, sure. I’m meeting the man from yesterday..” he said hesitantly. He risked a glance at Mr. Kim, expecting to meet his derisive gaze after the way Taehyun had rushed out of the shop the day before. Instead, the old man smiled gently.

“I suspected that might be the case. Well, if you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask. You’re a customer, but you've also been here often enough for me to see that you have a good heart, Mr. Kang. I am here for you, should you need me.” He reached out and gave Taehyun’s knee a quick pat before standing up and walking toward the front of the shop. He hesitated for just a moment, then called over his shoulder, “The book is yours, on the house.”

Taehyun sighed with relief, his body collapsing into the chair. He pulled his feet up and wrapped his thin arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees. He was in no way prepared to meet Beomgyu again. He wasn’t sure why he had even offered to. Kai’s words echoed in his mind:  _a chance...a possibility..._ Taehyun didn’t believe him, _couldn’t_ believe him, even if he wanted to. He paused. _Do I want to?_

Burying his face behind his legs, he tried to quell the anxiety building in his chest. He hated this feeling, it was exactly why he avoided these types of situations. He had Kai’s friendship and that had been enough for him, and it would continue to be. He didn’t need anything more than that. _What I need is a cat, not a boyfriend_ , he thought. His brain glitched as images of Beomgyu as his boyfriend flashed through his mind.

One specific scene lingered, taunting him. In it, Taehyun sat behind Beomgyu on the floor in front of the coffee table in Taehyun’s apartment. Beomgyu held a deck of cards in his right hand with Taehyun’s arms wrapped around him, fingers resting lightly on top of his as he walked him through the finishing technique of a quick flip. Adjusting the blonde’s grip slightly, Taehyun gestured for him to toss the deck from one palm to the other just as they had practiced. Beomgyu quickly slid the deck to his left hand and revealed the two chosen cards that remained in his right. He gawked at the cards in excitement before turning to show Taehyun, his brilliant smile glowing with pride.

Taehyun opened his eyes, staring at the dark fabric of his jeans. He was desperate to forget the vision he’d just witnessed, but Beomgyu’s smile refused to fade. The boy’s happiness at successfully performing the trick had radiated into him as if it had really happened. He allowed himself a small smile before lifting his head to check the time on his phone.

He froze when his eyes met deep brown ones shining back at him. Beomgyu had his arm resting on the table, chin in hand, and was gazing at Taehyun with a dreamy expression. He smiled warmly when the brunette looked up. He giggled softly, sitting upright. “Welcome to Earth, space cadet.” He pointed at the small coffee cup in front of Taehyun and raised his own. “I come in peace.”

Thankful to have literally anything else to look at besides Beomgyu, he stared wide-eyed at the paper cup, trying to process the situation. “Is this the part where I say ‘take me to your leader’?” he asked, reaching out and bringing the coffee to his lips. It burnt slightly before melting into a rich, warm caramel. _Did he make a lucky guess?_

Beomgyu tapped his chin thoughtfully, looking the boy up and down. “I dunno, are you an alien?”

Taehyun glanced around the shop, thinking. “Hmm...not that I’m aware of.” He caught the bemused look on Beomgyu’s face. “That doesn’t mean I’m not, though.”

The blonde grinned widely at that. “Well, allow me to be your Earth ambassador. My name is Choi Beomgyu and I am what the people of my planet would call a wizard.” He gave an exaggerated bow.

“A wizard?” Taehyun tilted his head.

“Why, yes. A wizard. You see, wizards are capable of doing magic. Magic is...well, magic is the power of amazement. Here, watch!” Beomgyu reached down into the messenger bag at his feet and dug around for a few moments. Slowly, he drew out his closed fist and held it out, palm up. Abruptly his hand sprang open, revealing...nothing. Taehyun shot a confused look at the blonde, who feigned shock at his empty hand, waving it around frantically. Then, he snapped his fingers and he was holding a single pink carnation. He offered it to Taehyun, a shy smile plucking at his lips. “I thought you might like this better than a photograph.”

A deep blush bloomed across Taehyun’s face. He took the flower gingerly, peering at it with astonishment. “It’s certainly more appealing,” he said cheekily, causing Beomgyu to scoff with pretend offense.

“I’m quite fond of that photo,” he muttered, holding his hand to his chest.

Taehyun rolled his eyes. “It’s embarrassing.”

Beomgyu hmphed. “It’s _ironic_ ,” he pouted. The brunette laughed loudly at that, the sound filling the space between them. Beomgyu’s smile instantly returned. “So, this is the second time that we’ve met and you, mysterious sir, have kept me in the dark. Do you happen to have a name or should I just call you Mr. Alien?”

With a start, Taehyun realized that at no point yesterday did he tell Beomgyu his name, though to be fair the boy hadn’t asked. “I could give you a fake name and you’d never know,” he pointed out.

Beomgyu nodded, “This is true. You could have me call you whatever you want. This is a great opportunity for you.”

Taehyun looked down at the flower in his hand and ran a finger along the petals. His heart was racing, but he didn’t have enough courage to be this forward while looking at the blonde. He wasn’t used to flirting, especially after so much time alone. Honestly, he wasn’t ready to be this vulnerable, it had just happened. The sincerity and sweetness of the boy in front of him had chipped at the walls he’d built, if only a little. Maybe Kai was right, after all.. “What do you want to call me?” he asked breathlessly.

Beomgyu’s voice was soft and unsure, almost fragile. “I was thinking, maybe I could call you mine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weekend is over so I may not be able to update quite as frequently as I have so far, but I will work hard to get the next chapter out quickly!


	6. Impossible Things

Taehyun felt like he was drowning. His heart had stopped, and he wasn't sure if it had any intention of starting anytime soon. The burn in his lungs was deepening, and he gasped for air in an effort to relieve it. His breath was ragged, when he could breathe. He felt like someone was speaking to him, but the sound was muffled and far away. Everything was so quiet and yet deafening in his head. Desperate to hold onto his senses, he tried to focus on only one at a time.

Touch; cool leather and flower petals beneath his fingertips, worn and soft. Smell; vanilla, the pages of old books. Taste; salt and caramel, lingering. Sight; brown wood, lighter where the tread of feet had bit into the grain over time. Sound; his name, repeating.

A hand touched his knee gently. Taehyun had thought his heart had given up, but now the thump of it against his chest was calming into a steady beat. The black edges of his vision were slowly brightening, and he could see someone kneeling in front of him.

“Are you okay?” A panicked voice. The sound brought his senses crashing back. Beomgyu was on his knees, looking up at him with big brown eyes rimmed with worry. He felt the light touch of the boy's fingers unconsciously tracing small circles along his knee. He tried to look at Beomgyu, but tears had begun to fall, blurring his vision. He shut his eyes tight, reminding himself to breathe. In...One, two, three. Out...One, two, three, four…

After a minute, feeling confident that he could exist in the world again, he slowly opened his eyes. They locked with Beomgyu’s immediately, as if drawn they were drawn together. Taehyun felt his vision tunnel again, the bookstore fading as he fell into the warmth of brown irises. He let out a long, ragged breath. “I'm, oh. I'm okay now. Thank you,” his whispered, nodding slightly.

The blonde's expression suggested that he didn't believe him, but he stood up, moving backwards. “I am so sorry. I would never try to upset you, I didn't expect, I mean, I just thought, oh god I'm an idiot.” He knelt down to grab his bag. “I should just lea-”

Taehyun grabbed his wrist. “Don't go.”

Beomgyu's body slammed to a halt and he looked down at Taehyun with an anxious expression. He was terrified of misspeaking, so he said nothing.

“I'm alright now, I promise. Please don't go.” Taehyun's voice was small but insistent. He let go of the boy's wrist, dropping his arm to his side and casting his eyes downward.

Slowly, Beomgyu returned to his chair. His eyes hadn't left the brunettes for a moment. Now they lingered on the floor, welling up with tears of his own.

Taehyun noticed this and spoke softly. “It's not your fault, Beomgyu. Please don't be hard on yourself. I should be the one apologizing..” He stared at the carnation his hands, it’s outer petals were crushed. “I didn't mean to frighten you." He let out a weak laugh, "I seem to be good at that.” 

Beomgyu wiped his eyes and smiled at him. “I think a disappearing trick would've been worse,” he joked.

Taehyun winced. “I don't know how to disappear, which may be the problem.” He paused, searching for the right words. “I’m sure it's abundantly clear by now, but I don't think I'm...capable of dating right now…” He saw Beomgyu's smile falter and it broke his heart. “It-it's not you, it's me. Oh god, I can't believe I actually just said that," he sighed, frustrated with himself. "What I mean is that it has nothing to do with you. You seem really sweet so far, and you're so pretty-” he panicked, “good at magic, yeah. It's just that I..this is all so…” His thoughts froze, and he dropped his head in defeat. “I'm sorry,” he said faintly.

It was silent for a moment before Beomgyu spoke, “I forgive you, if you forgive me.” Taehyun glanced at him. The only indication that he'd been crying was the red that dusted his nose and eyelashes. His eyes searched Taehyun's hopefully.

“All's forgiven,” the brunette replied, offering him an unsteady smile before flicking his eyes away. “If, if it's okay with you, I'd like to try being friends.”

A grin erupted on Beomgyu's face, his cheeks blushing to match his nose. “I would like that.”

An awkward moment passed between them. Taehyun didn't know where to go from here. He wasn’t good at these kinds of situations. Luckily Beomgyu broke the silence first.

“Is it okay if I ask one question, though?” Taehyun nodded and the blonde continued. “Why did you message me?”

His heart fell. “Oh…um. Well, I didn't. It was my friend, Kai. He's the one that dragged, er, took me to your show. He must've taken my phone at some point after seeing the number on your photo and messaged you.”

Beomgyu visibly deflated. “I see..”

Instantly Taehyun panicked, wanting to bring back the beautiful smile he'd seen only moments before. “I didn't have to keep replying, you know. But I did…Honestly, I don't know why I kept responding. I guess I felt like an asshole for how I treated you at your show,” he paused, watching Beomgyu's face eagerly, “Regardless, I don’t regret replying.” He was rewarded when the other’s expression lit up with happiness.

“I'm glad you kept messaging me too. We may be off to a rocky start, but-”

“An understatement, but go on,” Taehyun cut in.

Beomgyu smirked, “ _but_ , I think that just means it'll get better from here on. I mean, it can't get worse, can it?”

The brunette held up his hands in mock worry. “Oh don't even risk saying that, I have terrible luck.”

Beomgyu laughed. “You're a magician. With terrible luck. Are you cursed?”

Taehyun rolled his eyes. “I'm not that kind of magician.”

“What kind of magician are you, then?” Beomgyu retorted.

His cheeks flushed. “Well, you already know I do paper tricks. Playing cards are my specialty, but I can do manipulation with almost anything.” He laid the carnation on the table and reached into the bag at his feet, withdrawing the deck of cards he always kept on hand. Sliding a single card out, he casually flicked it from one hand to the other before it dematerialized completely. He held his hands up, flipping them around to show he wasn't holding anything. The card was nowhere to be seen. Beomgyu’s eyes followed the boy's every movement, trying to pick up on the card’s inevitable return, but Taehyun simply put his hands flat on his thighs. “Would you mind reaching into your shirt pocket for me?”

Beomgyu stared at Taehyun in disbelief. “No way…” Hesitantly, he slid his fingers into the pocket of his shirt, mouth falling open when they grazed the thick paper of a playing card. He plucked it out and held it in front of his face, examining it. “How did you do that?”

Taehyun chuckled. “You of all people should know better than to ask a magician for his secrets,” he chided playfully.

Beomgyu’s cheeks flushed at the remark. “Point taken,” he said, handing the card over.

Abruptly, the brunette blurted out, “Taehyun.”

“Huh?” Beomgyu asked, tilting his head slightly.

“My name. It’s Taehyun,” he gave the blonde an awkward little wave. “Now, you know.”

The boy beamed at him, his eyes crinkling with his smile. “Sounds exactly like the kind of name an alien would pick if he were trying to blend in with human society. Convincing! I like it.”

Taehyun shook his head, giggling. A sudden thought occurred to him. “Wait, if you didn’t know my name, what did you put in your contacts?”

Beomgyu groaned, “Ahh, no it’s embarrassing, I don’t want to tell you.” The blush returned to his cheeks.

“You are now morally obligated to tell me.” Taehyun crossed his arms and jokingly tapped his feet.

The blonde sighed and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, scrolling through it before handing it over to Taehyun. He bit his knuckles, restlessly waiting for the boy’s reaction.

Taehyun gawked at the phone briefly before smirking and handing it back. “It’s really the neon heart that takes it up the extra notch.” He giggled as the blush on the blonde’s face deepened.

“Don’t worry, I’ll change it right away,” Beomgyu said, looking anywhere but at Taehyun. His cheeks burned. “My turn to ask a question. Why did you do that trick at my show, anyway?”

“Ah, well..” He readjusted in his seat, tugging at his shirt. “I’m not a performer, not like you are. I don’t do shows, and if I'm being honest I don’t even do tricks in front of other people that often. But that doesn’t mean magic isn't important to me. I would say it’s the most important thing in my life, actually. And because of that I take it very seriously. I was taught that the most important part of magic is the audience, above even the magician himself. So I can get a bit hot-headed when I think people are doing a disservice to the form and put themselves first.”

Beomgyu cut in, his voice quiet. “You think I’m doing a disservice to magic?”

Taehyun reached for the carnation, rubbing his thumb along the waxy stem, “Well, your show is so dramatic, it kinda gives off the impression that it’s all about you.” He spared a sideways glance at the blonde, who was crestfallen.

“I’m not like that, you know..” he murmured. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know that my performance is a bit...flashy. That doesn't make it less genuine, though. I want to surprise people, to make them believe in impossible things. I want to feel like _I_   can do the impossible. Or, at least, do something worth remembering.” He looked into Taehyun's eyes sadly, “I guess it actually is about me then, about what I’m trying to get out of it...”

Guilt pierced Taehyun’s heart. “I-”

Beomgyu spoke first. “It’s just nice to feel like you’re worthwhile, even if it’s only on stage.” He stared at his hands. “It was just me and my dad growing up, but he wasn't home a lot since he had to work to support both of us.” Beomgyu's eyes grew distant. “I know he loves me, but I could see how relieved he was when I moved out, like he could finally breathe again. We don't really keep in touch these days...anyway, I started doing magic when I was little, to try and get his attention. Unsurprisingly, it didn't really work, but I thought maybe if I could just get better then he'd notice me. So I kept practicing, and here I am now. Still trying to get noticed, by anyone who’ll pay me the attention.” He cleared his throat, “Sorry, I'm sure you didn't want to hear my sob story,” his voice trailed off.

Taehyun shook his head vigorously. “No, it's okay, I'm glad that you told me. I feel like I can understand you better now. And it worked, honestly. I noticed you.” A warm smile played on his lips without him noticing. “I'm sorry for thinking that you were being shallow, it wasn't fair of me. I just made assumptions without even considering what you might be going through. If you think I'm an asshole, well, you wouldn't be the first.” Beomgyu smiled weakly at that, but the mood between them had soured. _Why am I so bad at this?_ he thought bitterly. Taehyun wracked his brain for anything to bring the conversation in a more cheerful direction. “Since we've got this twenty questions thing going on, I'll take my turn now okay?” He paused, leaning forward in his chair dramatically. The blonde looked back at him curiously. “Are you psychic?”

Beomgyu couldn’t help but laugh, his smile brightening a bit. “Why do you ask? Not that I'm denying it.”

Taehyun held up his long since empty coffee cup. “Caramel lattes are my favorite. How did you know?”

A cheshire grin slid across the blonde’s face. “A lucky guess,” was all he offered. Taehyun crossed his arms and pouted, demanding more from him. “Okay, okay,” Beomgyu chuckled. “It's not so much luck as observation and a bit of guesswork. You know the carnival we have every summer? I worked at one of those Guess Your Age booths for years when I was in school. I got to be pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.”

Taehyun giggled, “You were a carnie?”

“Shut it, alien boy.” Beomgyu pointed a finger at him. “I’ll have you know that by my second summer I only ever lost twice, and once was because a girl tricked me by purposefully acting younger so it doesn’t count.” He huffed at the memory. “Anyway, the job gave me spending money, but I also got really good at observing people and making guesses about their life, beyond just age and weight. If I talk with someone enough, I can usually tell things like what their favorite color is, or the type of music or drinks that they prefer.”

Taehyun raised an eyebrow, “favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

His mouth dropped open. “Well okay then. I still choose to believe you’re psychic, though.”

Beomgyu put his fingers to his temples, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “You’re thinking...that...I’m devilishly handsome, right?” He cackled, putting his hands below his chin in a V and beaming at him, batting his eyelashes.

Taehyun rolled his eyes, but laughed nonetheless. “I’m thinking that it’s probably about time for me to head out, unfortunately.” He grabbed his phone off the table and clicked the screen on. Thirty messages from Kai, only a bit more than the usual. _Soobin must have visited the clinic again_. He slid the phone into his bag before standing up and slinging it over his shoulder. “Thank you for the coffee, and for today. It’ll be fun to see how people react when I tell them I know a psychic wizard.”

Beomgyu stood up as well, realizing too late that he hadn't planned on what to do with his body. He slouched a bit, trying to seem casual. “Well, this wizard is glad to have met his first real-life extraterrestrial. And I feel better now, since I could make things up to you after what happened.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. I was an asshole, you were a flirt. And now we’re past it and we’re friends. We _are_ friends, right?” Taehyun asked quickly, holding his hand out to the boy. Much to his surprise, instead of shaking his hand, Beomgyu grabbed it and pulled him into a hug.

“Definitely friends,” he whispered before letting go of the brunette. “Ah, I’m sorry, I hope that was okay. I’m a bit of a hugger…”

Taehyun was stunned, but managed to nod. “I don’t mind. It was...nice. I’ll see you around then, I guess.” He stayed rooted to the spot.

Beomgyu slid his hands into the pockets of his pants, leaning back on his heels. “Yeah, see you around.”

After lingering a moment longer, Taehyun turned away. Beomgyu watched as he waved goodbye to the shopkeeper and walked out the door, a calm and assured stride taking the place of the panicked rush he had left in only the day before. A happiness settled into Beomgyu’s chest, little snippets of their conversation running through his thoughts as he reached down to gather his own things. He glanced at the chair Taehyun had been sitting in and saw a small book tucked into the corner, forgotten. He grabbed it and headed to the counter.

“Excuse me,” he called to the shopkeeper, who turned and offered him a pleasant smile. “I believe my friend left his book here, but I’m not sure if he had paid for it yet so I wanted to check and if not I will pay for it.”

Mr. Kim chuckled when he saw which book it was. “Yes, that book belongs to Taehyun. It was a gift, to bring him good luck. Did it work?” The man stared at him expectantly. Beomgyu hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Mr. Kim took that for an answer and smiled. “He could always use a little luck. See that he gets it back, would you?”

Beomgyu nodded and stuffed the book in his bag before walking out onto the street. After catching the train home, he slid into an empty seat and took out his phone. He didn't notice the way his heart beat faster as he typed.


	7. Wouldn’t You Regret It?

Taehyun held his phone in his shaking hands, staring at the message Beomgyu had sent him. _The place that makes me happiest?_...he thought, losing himself for a moment. He knew immediately which place it was, felt the dappled sunlight falling on his face and the worn bench beneath his palms. The phone in his hand vibrated again, drawing Taehyun back to reality. It was a message from Kai asking him to meet up.

“Meet me at the cafe on 5th street! I have a surprise for you!!”

Oh this can’t be good. Kai’s surprises were always very...unpredictable. One time he had ‘surprised’ Taehyun by dragging a kiddie pool into his living room and filling it with Jello powder. Kai had been devastated when Taehyun explained that it would never turn into Jello because it would have to be refrigerated. The younger simply said he should have made the Jello in batches and then put it in the pool. Taehyun could only shake his head. His house had smelled like strawberry kiwi for weeks.

After quickly stopping by his house, _Jello free thank goodness_ he thought, he walked down the street to The Star’s Dream cafe. Kai didn’t live too far away, but it was far enough to be an uncomfortably long walk. The cafe was right in the center between them and they had been using it as their meeting place for years. The bell chimed as he walked in, a barista welcomed him without looking up from the espresso machine. He stepped up to the counter and she turned to him, “Ah, Taehyun! Welcome back. Same as always?”

He nodded quickly and pulled out his wallet , “Yes, one caramel latte please.” He handed a few bills to the barista absentmindedly and moved to the side to wait. His thoughts returned to the small paper coffee cup in the bookstore, and the boy who had brought it to him. He couldn’t shake the image of Beomgyu kneeling, looking at him with such a frightened expression. It had been a long time since he had experienced a panic attack, and he hated that the other saw him like that. His nails bit into his palm as he clenched his fist.

“Taehyun!” He shook his head and looked around to find the barista waving at him and pointing at his drink on the counter. He thanked her and picked it up, glancing around for a place to sit. He chose a small table by the window, hoping the city lights would keep him distracted. Every time he had even a moment to think, there he was again in the bookshop. A light pink flower. A playing card. A neon heart. A smile. _His smile_. Taehyun pulled his phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t responded to Beomgyu yet. He couldn’t think of what to say, even though he knew exactly where to take him. It wasn’t the words that held him up but the fact that he was messaging him at all. Ever since Beomgyu came into Taehyun’s life, he’d become a wreck. He didn’t like the feeling of not being in control of himself. He stared out the window attempting to sort out his feelings but it ended up just making him more confused. After a few minutes he heard the door chime again. Turning to look, he saw Kai walk into the cafe. A smile spread across his lips only to dim a moment later when he saw a tall, dark haired man come in after him. Kai was bouncing excitedly, eyes darting wildly around the cafe. The man gave the younger an endearing smile even though he couldn’t see it. _That must be-_

“Soobin! Look, I found him!!” Kai grabbed the boy’s hand and sprinted across the cafe towards Taehyun. He dragged him in front and pushed him forward, “Taehyun, this is Soobin!!”

Soobin smiled at him and gave him a shy wave, “It’s nice to meet you! Kai talks about you quite a bit.”

Taehyun’s mouth hung open, taken aback. “H-hello,” he stuttered and held out his hand. Soobin shook it heartily.

Kai slid into the seat beside Taehyun and gestured for Soobin to sit too. Instead, Soobin offered to order their drinks while the two caught up and he walked off towards the counter. Kai gazed after him dreamily before whipping around to face Taehyun. “Isn’t he just the cutest??” He squealed, fluttering with excitement.

“He seems very sweet,” Taehyun said, trying to force some enthusiasm into his voice.

“He is! Oh my gosh, Tae, we were having a date today and I thought what better than to meet my best friend!” He reached out and grabbed Taehyun’s hands, cupping them in his own. “I wanted you to meet him, so you can finally believe me that he’s real.”

Taehyun laughed, “I always believed you. I just thought you might’ve exaggerated a bit.” He looked at Soobin, “though you definitely weren’t exaggerating about his height. He’s so tall!”

Kai nodded several times, “Mmhmm! I even have to stand on tippy toes to give him kisses!” he beamed.

“Kisses, huh?” Taehyun smiled, a weird feeling building in his stomach. “Already?”

Kai held his chest and scoffed. “What do you mean already? It’s never too early for kisses! Everyone deserves those.” He went back to watching Soobin, who was smiling at his phone while waiting for their drinks. “I think I love him, Tae.”

Taehyun choked on his drink. “You love him? Isn’t this like your first date?”

“Second,” Kai said simply, unfazed by the implications of Taehyun’s comment.

Soobin walked back to their table and placed Kai’s hot chocolate in front of him while he settled in with his frozen cappuccino. He pulled out his phone and placed it on the table for Kai and Taehyun to see. “My neighbor gave me a tip about a rabbit litter in our neighborhood last week. She was able to get some photos of the babies today. Aren’t they cute?” His face lit up with a wide smile.

Kai snatched up the phone and melted, holding it to his chest. “They’re the second cutest ever.”

“Second?” Soobin asked innocently.

Kai booped his nose and hummed. “Mmhmm! You’re the first.”

Taehyun shifted in his seat uncomfortably, feeling out of place. He stared at the table, unsure of what to say. Kai sensed his unease and looked at him, feeling a bit guilty. “Oh! Taehyun!! How did it go? You met up with him, didn’t you?” He turned to Soobin, “He had a date with another magician today, you know _The Dazzling Beomgyu_?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of him! Never been to one of his shows, though. A date, huh?” He asked, intrigued. _He raises his eyebrows, just like Kai_. 

Taehyun gritted his teeth. “It wasn’t a date.” His voice had come out harsher than he’d intended. He sighed and softened his tone, “It went alright. It was...more than a little awkward, honestly.”

Kai slipped his hand into Soobin’s and held it across the table. “First dates always are, aren’t they?”

“I told you, it wasn’t a date. Anyway, I wouldn’t know,” Taehyun said, dejected. “I don’t really go on dates.” He knew if he kept talking about Beomgyu he’d get upset. He didn’t want Soobin’s first impression to be him crying over a boy, so he tried to act casual and changed the subject. “Anyway, you guys seem happy. Kai said you had a date today, actually. What did you do?”

Soobin smiled, “I took him to a petting zoo. I know he likes the more exotic animals, but-”

“Uh, excuse you, alpacas are exotic and I got to pet one today! Tae, it was so cool! You should definitely go there sometime, they’re so cute. They have pigs and little ducks and even a horse!” Kai’s voice raised with excitement, and Soobin hushed him gently. He continued in a loud whisper, “there was even a peacock, Hyunnie. A peacock!! Though it was kinda mean to be honest.”

“I think most are,” Taehyun shrugged.

“It’s not that they’re mean, so to speak,” Soobin explained, “it’s that they’re a particularly territorial species. Even though we aren't peacocks they still perceive us as a threat and thus try to establish a hierarchy.” Kai’s expression softened considerably, and he placed his chin in his hands as he listened to Soobin. “I’ve worked with them before, and they have a bit of an ego. You gotta flatter them, make them feel like they’re at the top, and then you can treat them.”

Taehyun sipped his latte. “You know a lot about them.”

“I try to learn as much as possible about a species’s psychology before stepping in to address their health concerns. I’m sure Hyuka already told you, but I mostly deal with exotics and farm animals than I do your typical cat and dog.”

_Hyuka. Pet names already..._

“You’re the dreamiest,” Kai cooed. Taehyun couldn’t tell if he was aware that he’d said that out loud, then realized Kai wouldn’t care either way. He was always saying what he thought no matter what it was. Soobin blushed deeply, swirling his drink.

Taehyun grew more frustrated as time went on. He was happy for Kai, he really was. The boy deserved to be with someone who would treat him right, and it was obvious Soobin would. Still, he couldn’t shake the hollow pit that was growing in his stomach as he watched the couple play with each other’s hands and exchange sweet glances. _Am I jealous?_ he thought, staring out the window.

Kai noticed the shift in Taehyun’s mood and patted Soobin’s hand before pulling his own away. “Taehyun?”

His eyes trailed a car on the highway in the distance, “Mmm?”

“I know you’re not okay. Do you want to talk about it?” he said gently. Kai had a preternatural ability to read Taehyun’s emotions no matter how good of a mask he wore. 

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’m just…” He sighed and watched the city lights. “I wish I could have something like what you guys have. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that it’s never going to happen.”

Kai shot him a confused look. “I was positive Beomgyu liked you though?”

“He does,” Taehyun said flatly.

“Then what’s the problem?” Kai asked, shaking his head. 

Taehyun looked at him and then at the floor. “I am.”

Kai grabbed his hand, scooting over until their knees were touching. “Kang Taehyun. I know you won’t believe me but, no look at me-” he grabbed Taehyun’s chin and tilted it up until they were eye to eye. “Taehyun, you are worthy of love. I know you feel like you don’t deserve it, but as your best friend I think I am beyond qualified to say that you deserve to be loved. If Beomgyu likes you, do you like him?”

 _Do I?_ His mind fluttered, unable to pin down a single thought. “I- I don’t know. I don’t really remember what liking someone feels like.”

Kai tapped his chin. “Hmm...Does he make you feel kinda sick, like you might faint, but in a good way?”

“I mean, if you can call having a panic attack being sick,” Taehyun said bitterly, unable to look at Kai any longer. 

“A panic attack??” Kai asked, clearly alarmed. “Taehyunnie, what the hell happened?”

Taehyun closed his eyes in a futile attempt to escape the conversation. “He asked me out.”

Kai’s mouth dropped open. “And??”

Taehyun shook his head, sadness creeping into his voice. “And I had a panic attack. And then I turned him down.”

Kai leapt out of his seat and wrapped his arms around Taehyun’s neck, almost knocking him off his chair. He planted a big kiss on Taehyun’s cheek, who immediately wiped it off with disgust, which made Kai laugh. “Taehyun?” he said sweetly.

“Ugh, what Kai? Why are you clinging onto me? Soobin is over there.” He pointed to the man across from him, who was trying desperately to hide his smile behind a neutral expression. 

Kai made no effort to move. “Are you afraid?”

Taehyun didn’t respond, and instead stared at the floor with a pained expression.

“It’s okay to be afraid. It’s scary putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. You just have to trust sometimes, Hyunnie.”

“Trust someone I don’t know?” he scoffed. “That seems like the perfect way to get hurt.”

Kai nodded. “You might get hurt, yeah, that’s a risk. But you might _not_. You might discover something truly special that will last a lifetime. There’s no way of knowing unless you try.”

Taehyun shook his head. “No, Kai. We’re just friends. I ensured that we’re just friends. And that- that’s enough. We, I can’t be anything more than that.”

Soobin coughed lightly and both boys turned to look at him. He laced his hands together on top of the table. “I know that I don’t know you Taehyun, and I don’t presume to. From what I can tell from today, though, you seem like you have very conflicted feelings about this man. Don’t you think that your feelings are worth exploring, even if you don’t act on them?”

Taehyun said nothing, but his expression eased a bit. Kai flashed Soobin a big grin, encouraging him to keep going.

“It’s important to be honest with ourselves,” he continued. “By reflecting on our feelings, we’re able to understand ourselves better, make ourselves happier. I agree with Kai, Taehyun, you deserve to be happy. There’s a chance this Beomgyu can make you happy. It’s up to you whether you take that chance, but if you don’t, someone else will. Wouldn’t you regret it?”

Taehyun laid his arms on the table, resting his head on them as Kai rubbed small circles on his back. After calming his ragged breathing, in a muffled, barely audible whisper, Taehyun said, “I don’t want to regret anything anymore.”

Kai smiled and patted him, “Good choice. We’ll be here to support you no matter what happens, Hyunnie.”

Taehyun grabbed Kai’s free hand and squeezed it. He wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes. “Having feelings sucks,” he said with a shallow chuckle. The other boys laughed brightly and agreed.

**+×+**

When Beomgyu walked in the door and found Yeonjun sprawled on the couch watching reality TV shows, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Seems like you’ve had a long day, huh?” he said sarcastically as he flung his bag on the ground and plopped onto the couch beside the older boy.

“Excruciating,” Yeonjun said without looking away from the screen. “I even had to make my own food.”

Beomgyu eyed the empty containers of microwaveable ramen that littered the coffee table. “That’s rough buddy,” Beomgyu snickered.

Yeonjun threw a pillow at him and Beomgyu dramatically fell over, pretending to be dead. “It is way too early for you to be making Last Airbender references, you know I’m still emotional about it.” He said, clutching his heart.

The blonde giggled. “Too early? It’s almost 4 in the afternoon.”

“Exactly my point,” Yeonjun replied. He glanced over at Beomgyu and did a quick double take. “Hey, are you okay man?”

“Uh yeah, what do you mean?” Beomgyu asked, confusion etched on his face.

Yeonjun looked at him intently before saying, “You seem upset.”

Beomgyu held his hands up, reassuring him. “I’m fine hyung, seriously.”

“Then why are you crying?”

He gingerly touched his cheek and felt tears gently rolling down. He looked at his fingertips in disbelief before giving Yeonjun a worried look. The older boy sat up and slid over to him, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. “Okay now you definitely have to spill. What’s going on?” he said softly. With a steady grip on his shoulder, Yeonjun held the blonde’s gaze until he was capable of speaking.

Beomgyu shook his head. “I- I didn’t even realize I was crying.”

Yeonjun sighed. “That’s how I know something’s really getting to you, when even _you_ are in denial about it.” He rubbed his hand on Beomgyu’s back softly. “Now come on, tell Junie what’s gotten into you.”

The boy stared at his hands bewildered. “I mean, I saw Taehyun again today and that was…”

Yeonjun waved his hand, “Wait, who’s Taehyun?”

Beomgyu took a deep breath. _The love of my-_ “He’s the magician I told you about. The one who I scared off the other day.”

“Oh,” Yeonjun’s eyes widened. “Oh! Did you fuck up again?” Yeonjun realized too late that probably wasn’t the best way to phrase the question.

“I don’t..think so? I don’t know honestly. I asked him out.” His heartbeat flickered when he remembered Taehyun’s reaction.

“And…?” Yeonjun tried to read Beomgyu’s expression, but it was impossible.

“And he kind of...freaked out...Went all pale and spacey. Which freaked _me_ out. I thought he was really sick and I was terrified for him. But after a little while he said he was okay. And then he rejected me.” He looked up at Yeonjun, more tears spilling from his eyes involuntarily. Neither of them bothered to wipe them away.

Yeonjun gave him a side hug and the boy collapsed into his arms. “Aw, baby Beom, it’s okay. Shhh,” he hummed a faint, soothing melody. “You really like this guy, huh?” He felt Beomgyu nod his head against his chest, small sobs wracking his body. Yeonjun patted his hair, running his fingers over the blonde locks gently. He was doing his best to try and calm the boy down, but it didn’t seem to be working.

“He- he asked if we could be friends,” Beomgyu said in a choked voice. “ _Just_ friends. Junie, I can’t _do_ just friends, I can’t. It’s too stressful,” his voice grew loud and frantic. “I’ve never been able to be ‘just friends’ with someone I liked. I’ve only ever driven them off or ruined things or ghosted them to save myself the pain. No matter how hard I try, my feelings always ruin ‘just friends’. I can’t go through that again.” He wrapped his arms around Yeonjun's waist, hugging him tight. “I like him so much, Junie. I don’t even know him, but I can just tell that he’s perfect and smart and handsome and I feel so fucking stupid that I’ve already fucked up whatever chance I had with him before he could even give me one. I can’t stand the idea of hurting him, it makes me sick to even think about. But if we try to be just friends, I _will_ hurt him eventually. It’s inevitable.”

Yeonjun let Beomgyu keep talking until he ran out of words, soon replaced with shallow breathing. He waited a moment longer, then asked in a whisper, “How can you be so sure? That you’ll hurt him?”

After taking a few deep breaths, Beomgyu sat up and wiped his nose. “Because I know me. You know me too, how can you not see it? Best case scenario is we try to be friends, I end up falling for him even more until eventually I can’t contain the way I feel and make things weird. I don’t want things to be weird…I don’t want him to leave, and I don’t want to be the reason he’s upset.”

Yeonjun placed his hands on Beomgyu’s shoulders, steadying him. “What if he just needs some time? I mean, you came on strong, then backed off, then you immediately asked him out. That’s a roller coaster of social interaction with someone he just met. I can understand how that might mess with his emotions a bit. But there’s no way of knowing what you’ll be at the end of ‘just friends’. Maybe it’ll fizzle out, or maybe it’ll transition into something more. If you like this guy as much as you say, are you really willing to give up on that chance so easily? Wouldn’t you regret it?”

Beomgyu bit his lip. “I just don’t want him to hate me…”

“So what if he hates you?” Yeonjun shrugged. “Then you move on. It sucks, I know, but you know what would suck more? Spending the next six months wondering what would’ve happened if you had just given it a shot.”

The blonde boy twisted his hands together. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to see Taehyun again, preferably as soon as possible. Or that he was looking forward to seeing wherever it was that Taehyun would take him. He didn’t know where they were going, but as long as Taehyun was with him, Beomgyu would be happy. He wanted to be happy, desperately. They hadn’t spent much time together, but already Taehyun had made Beomgyu feel open and safe, like he had finally been noticed for who he _was_ , not who he appeared to be. Not his persona, but himself. Just Beomgyu. He could tell that the other was gentle and kind, even if things hadn’t started out that way. He wanted to know so much more about the brunette than just the color yellow and caramel lattes. More than playing cards and paper tricks. He wanted to know everything. 

Yeonjun gave him a shake. “Hello? Earth to Beomgyu? Come in, Beomgyu?”

He allowed himself a small smile, remembering his impromptu appointment as the ambassador of Earth. Slowly, he sat up straight and nodded his head. “I’ll be seeing him again soon so I can return his book. I’ll decide what to do after that. If it goes well, I will give ‘just friends’ a shot. If not,” he paused hesitantly before breathing out a resigned sigh, “If not, I’ll disappear.”

“Well, you’re not an escape artist for nothing,” Yeonjun chuckled. “I’m glad you’re not gonna give up. The Beomgyu I know never gives up.”

He closed his eyes, exhausted. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with me while I wrote this chapter! I am so happy to share it with you. I have a lot planned for this au, but if you have any ideas or if there’s anything you’d like to see in particular, let me know in the comments!


	8. What are You Thinking About Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience while I worked through my writer's block for this story!
> 
> As a heads up, I am using a different program for the fake chats so they look a bit different now
> 
> Enjoy the chapter ^x^

Taehyun didn’t understand why his hands were shaking. He leaned against the wrought iron fence at the entrance to Tomorrow Memorial Park, doing his best to look like he didn’t have a thunderstorm raging inside him. He let out a shaky breath, resting his head against the cool metal bars. He replayed his conversation with Kai and Soobin for the three hundredth time. _No more regrets_ , he thought. Slowly he was working up the courage to believe that anyone could like him, let alone Beomgyu. The blonde’s brilliant smile appeared behind his closed eyelids and he felt his lips curl upward just a bit. Truthfully, he was terrified. Uncertain and afraid, this was very much uncharted territory for him. He wasn’t used to the way his palms grew clammy or how his heart would race at even just the thought of seeing the man. Suddenly worried, he wiped his hands on his pants just in case. Yes, he was scared, but Taehyun was determined to not let his fear of getting hurt prevent him from taking a chance on Beomgyu. Things hadn’t started off well for them, but Taehyun admired the other’s persistence. _He’s definitely a man who fights for what he wants. Does he really want me?_  

“Men in Black, put your hands up alien scum!”

Taehyun yelped, his eyes flying open in time to see two fingers in the shape of a gun pointed directly at his forehead. He quickly put his hands in the air and shouted, “Don’t shoot!”

Beomgyu’s stern expression melted into a giggle, pulling his hands back towards his chest. “And why not?” He asked playfully.

“I’m too handsome to die,” _I’m too han- why did I just say that?_ He cringed inwardly.

Beomgyu nodded. “You make a good point. I guess I can let you slide this one time.” He holstered his pretend gun and gestured past the gate with his head. “So the park makes you happy?”

Pushing himself off the fence, Taehyun straightened up and walked through the gates. He turned, waiting for Beomgyu to follow him. As they started walking along the path he said, “Not the whole park, just a specific part.” He fought against the desire to turn around and lock eyes with the blonde who was trailing a pace behind him. 

“Gotcha. I haven’t been here in ages. My dad used to bring me here when I was a kid. It looks exactly the same as back then, though.” Beomgyu attempted to take in his surroundings, but his eyes always fell back towards Taehyun like a magnet. He could tell by the brunette’s stiff stride that he was nervous, which made his heart flutter. He found Taehyun’s nervousness endearing, but he wanted to make sure that he was comfortable instead. He kept a safe distance between them as a precaution. 

Walking deeper into the park, an easy silence settling between them. Suddenly Beomgyu ran into Taehyun abruptly and stumbled backward a bit. Taehyun apologized and pointed off to their left at a bench nestled beneath a large willow tree. “It’s there.” Beomgyu had expected him to move forward, but he stood still, just staring at the bench. An unreadable expression washed over his face, quickly overtaken by a more aloof one and a distant smile. “Come on,” he said, stepping off the sidewalk and into the grass.

The grass was damp with the morning rain, but the willow tree had kept the bench dry. Taehyun pulled aside the long leaves drooping down from the branches above, allowing Beomgyu to walk through first. He felt as if he were transported to another world with the way the sunlight shining down into the enclosed space beneath the tree was tinted green. He walked over to the bench and sat down, scooting over to make room for Taehyun beside him. “This place is beautiful. It feels like fairies would live here. I don’t think I would have even noticed this was here if it weren’t for you pointing it out.”

“I like it best in the summer like it is now. In the winter it’s more exposed.” Taehyun sat down, staring up at the branches with a wistful expression on his face.

Beomgyu frowned, hesitating before he said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but for the place that makes you the happiest you don’t exactly seem happy to be here.”

Taehyun sighed quietly. “Happy doesn’t always look the way you’d expect it to. I am happy, even though I don’t look like it.”

Beomgyu waited for Taehyun to continue, but he stayed silent. He started to worry that things weren’t going well, that it was a mistake to ask Taehyun to bring him here. He was usually so good at reading people, but the brunette before him suddenly seemed impenetrable.

The air between them hung awkwardly. After a drawn out silence, Taehyun spoke, his voice barely audible. “It’s my grandfather.” Beomgyu gave him a puzzled look, and Taehyun risked meeting his eyes. “He’s the reason why this place makes me happy. My parents, they were always overseas on various business trips, so I lived with my grandfather.” He pulled a coin out of his pocket and flicked it between his knuckles. Beomgyu’s eyes were transfixed on the glinting silver as Taehyun’s calm voice washed over him. “He’s the one that taught me magic. When I was in elementary school, he’d bring me here and show me different tricks with cards, coins. He’d even pluck the leaves off the tree and vanish those, only for them to reappear moments later in the palm of his hand.” A smile blossomed on his face as his eyes grew distant with recollection. “In middle school he actually started to teach me his tricks, to pull the curtain back and show me the secrets. It was like he was letting me in on a hidden part of the world, like the way this place feels hidden. It felt so good to be included, to be accepted. I was so captivated. I practiced every day, wanting to make him proud. And he was, he was always there cheering me on whenever I mastered a new technique.”

Beomgyu didn’t want to pull him out of his reverie, so he watched the memories play across Taehyun’s striking features. The way his lips would part slightly when he paused, how his eyes seemed to see the world as it was in a pleasant past rather than how it was right then. _He’s right, he really is too handsome._ Beomgyu’s cheeks burned and he looked away, patting his face lightly. “I can see why this place makes you so happy, there are a lot of memories here,” Beomgyu said, trying to ease the awkwardness that was growing between them again.

The movement drew Taehyun’s gaze and he smiled to himself. _He’s cute when he’s flustered._ Taehyun gave a slight laugh and nodded. “Yeah. I come here a lot when I want to think.”

Beomgyu turned to face him. “What are you thinking about now?”

Taehyun suddenly found the leaves fascinating, not daring to meet the other’s eyes. _You-_ “Myself.” 

The blonde tilted his head inquisitively. “What about yourself?”

He traced his foot through the dirt. “If I’m happy with the life that I have, or with the person I am.”

Beomgyu nodded, eyes tracking Taehyun’s shoe for a few moments. “...Are you?”

The brunette shrugged nonchalantly. “Not really. But I’m slowly learning to live without regrets.” He glanced at the man sitting beside him, not trusting himself to lock eyes for more than a second without his cheeks flushing pink. 

“I think that’s very admirable.” Beomgyu wanted nothing more than to place his hand on top of the younger’s, but he didn’t think it would be well received. Instead, he stood and offered his hand to help Taehyun up. 

Taehyun shot him a curious look. “Are we leaving?”

“If you’re okay with that. I was thinking I might be able to take you where I’m happiest,” Beomgyu said softly.

Hesitantly, Taehyun grabbed Beomgyu’s hand. It was warm and inviting and Taehyun tried not to think about how badly he wanted to intertwine their fingers. Instead, he dropped his hand to his side as Beomgyu parted the leaves and the two walked into the bright morning sunlight.

Just as they stepped onto the sidewalk that led to the park’s entrance, there was a shout from behind them. They turned, and without a word Beomgyu began walking towards the young woman who had called out to him. 

“Beomgyu, oh my gosh!” She was beautiful, with long chestnut brown hair falling in light waves around her shoulders. Taehyun couldn’t help but notice the way her face lit up when she spoke to Beomgyu.

“Jiya, wow, I thought you’d left the city! What brings you back?” Taehyun could sense the enthusiasm in the blonde’s voice even from a distance. He had stayed rooted to the spot on the sidewalk, feeling awkward and forgotten. He didn’t hear her reply. All sound faded, as if someone had turned down the volume on the world. He tried to look away, but his eyes weren’t cooperating. He watched as the two continued talking, as she laughed brightly and touched his arm. Finally, Taehyun shifted his gaze to the white concrete beneath his feet. His heart was burning and the air was slowly seeping out of his lungs. _I knew it wasn’t possible._ He gritted his teeth. 

“Are you alright, Taehyun?”

He flinched. Beomgyu had returned without him noticing. “Y-yeah. It’s just hot out here in the sun,” he lied.

“Well then let’s go somewhere out of the sunlight, okay?” Beomgyu grinned and started walking; Taehyun hesitated before following him. “I know I’m the guesser, but where do you think I’m taking you?”

 _Does it matter?_  “I don’t know.”

The blonde pouted, “Ah, come on! Not even a single guess?” 

Taehyun shrugged absently. “A coffee shop?”

Beomgyu clicked his tongue. “I’m offended that you think I am that predictable.” Taehyun said nothing and the smile on Beogmyu’s face slipped into concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” His voice came out bitter, and he regretted the tone instantly. He kept his eyes low.

“Oh, okay,” Beomgyu said, his words edged with hurt. He didn’t know what he’d done but he could tell that Taehyun was upset. Only he wasn’t sure how to handle it, and he was afraid they’d have a repeat of their past interactions. He didn’t want to today to end up disheartening too. Not when it was his last chance. He could think of nothing better to say, so he stayed silent and focused on walking.

Suddenly, Taehyun froze in place. Beomgyu stopped too and tried to get the other to meet his gaze, but Taehyun refused to look up at him. “I-I can’t do this,” the brunette whispered. And with that, he started sprinting back into the park. Beomgyu stood in shock for a few seconds, then took off after him.

He chased him as far as he could, but the younger had slipped out of sight behind the community center. He searched for him in every direction, but it was as if he had simply vanished. Beomgyu slumped onto a bench in despair, playing with the ends of his sleeves. _What did I do wrong now?_ He bit his lip. It felt like each time they saw each other, Beomgyu only caused Taehyun pain. He raked his hand through this hair in anger. “Alright I get it, I’m a fuck-up. I’m already upsetting him every time we meet. He doesn’t deserve that,” he sighed deeply, wiping at his eyes. “How could I ever think that I could make someone like him happy? I wish...that I could have at least said a last goodbye.” He sat there for a minute more, trying to process what had happened. _The Dazzling Beomgyu escapes again,_ he thought bitterly as he stood up and wandered towards the exit.

Taehyun couldn’t help the tears that ran down his face. He knew he was being childish, that he had just destroyed his one shot at happiness. _And for what? Some petty jealousy over a meaningless gesture?_ He hadn’t climbed a tree since the last time he had come here with his grandfather, but there he was up in the branches. He had hoped Beomgyu wouldn’t find him. He couldn’t bare to face him with how soundly he had embarrassed himself. Only now, after hearing the defeat with which the blonde spoke, Taehyun regretted hiding even more than running away. 

He leaned back against the tree, swinging his legs vacantly as he tried to stop crying. He took out his phone and with shaking hands texted Kai.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. From This Moment Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to get a new chapter written. The past few weeks have not been the best for me, and it's been difficult to write. As I was working on this chapter, I remembered how happy writing makes me. I will try to be better in the future, and work harder to get the chapters out in a reasonable time. Thank you for sticking with me, enjoy the chapter!

__

_That night_

 

 

 

**+×+**

 

 

 

_Four days later_

 

 

 

**+×+**

 

 

 

_Two weeks later_

 

 

 

**+×+**

 

 

 

_Three weeks later_

Cleaning wasn’t something that Beomgyu particularly liked doing. In fact, he despised it. But Yeonjun had given him enough crap about sulking unproductively for the past three weeks that he started picking up around the apartment simply because he was tired of hearing about it. He collected the microwave ramen bowls and discarded coffee cups on the table, shoving them into a garbage bag while he tried not to think about the pile of dishes leaning dangerously close to the side of the kitchen sink. Placing the bag down, he plucked a blanket and a few pillows off the floor and tossed them back onto the couch. _The couch..._ It looked so inviting. _No, I can’t. Not yet, Jjunie will give me hell._ He sighed as he walked into the kitchen and put the garbage bag beside the trash can.

After tackling the dishes, which had taken at least an hour he was sure, Beomgyu started wiping down the countertops. He froze mid-swipe when he saw it, a swath of red crammed between the pantry and the spice rack. 

 _Celebrations of Curious Characters,_ by Ricky Jay.

 _The book._ With everything that had happened, he had forgotten about Taehyun’s book entirely. A soft whine escaped his lips unintentionally as he grabbed the book. He slid his hands along the cover before flipping through the pages slowly, eyes lingering on the various illustrations. _I’m not ready for this_ , he thought, feeling his heartbreak come flooding back with force. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes, but before they could he walked to the trash can and threw the book away.

 _Finally...the couch..._ Beomgyu collapsed onto the plush pillows and closed his eyes to enjoy a well-earned nap. The apartment might not look magazine ready, but it was certainly an improvement from how messy it had been before. 

**+×+**

_Thwap!_

Beomgyu’s eyes shot open in terror. His hand instinctively went to his right cheek, which was quickly reddening from being smacked. He let out a yelp when he saw Yeonjun standing over him menacingly. The elder raised his arm again, something small and red in his hand. Beomgyu shielded his face, shouting “What! I’m awake! Why??”

The elder lowered his arm and crossed it over his chest, glaring down at the boy on the couch. “What do you mean why? I should be asking you that.”

Glancing between his fingers, Beomgyu eyed Yeonjun warily. “What are you _on_ about? And don’t hit me this time!” He lowered his hands and gingerly rubbed his cheek.

Yeonjun tossed the book onto Beomgyu’s stomach, making him gasp in surprise. “Why was this in the trash?”

The blonde groaned. “Because I’m moving on. Isn’t that what you wanted me to do? Move on? Stop sulking all the time?” He flung the book onto the coffee table carelessly.

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean you get to throw away a perfectly good book. Besides, there’s a difference between coming to terms with things and denying that it even happened. Right now you’re still in denial about having feelings in the first place.” He tapped Beomgyu’s leg, who slid them off the couch so Yeonjun could sit beside him. “That’s not how this works and you know it.”

The younger rolled his eyes, “What does it matter, as long as it stops hurting?”

“Has it?” Yeonjun asked sharply.

Beomgyu stared at the carpet, trying to see the detail of every fiber. “...No.”

“Didn’t think so.”

The smugness in his voice grated against Beomgyu’s nerves and he hit him with a pillow. “Can you not come at me like this right now?”

Yeonjun reached out and grabbed the book off the table. “Tell you what. I’ll leave you alone _if_ you promise to give this back to him.”

Beomgyu scoffed, “How am I supposed to give it back if he won’t even answer my messages?” 

Yeonjun bopped him on the head with the book before holding it out for him to take. “It’s a book. From a bookstore. That he frequents. Do the math.”

The blonde held the book in his hands as if it were made of glass. His tone was sour but his eyes were soft as he said, “Fine. If it’ll get you off my back.”

**+×+**

Taehyun nodded absentmindedly. He was watching Kai as he spoke, but the words weren’t reaching him. Even the boy’s expression was blurred, his gestures drawing vague shapes in the air. He couldn’t focus. It felt like everything around him was just out of arm's reach, like a thick fog isolated him from the world. He couldn’t see the other patrons in the coffee shop, couldn’t hear their quiet conversations or the hiss of the espresso machine. He had tried his best to forget about the blonde magician, but it turned out that there wasn’t much Taehyun was ‘best’ at. Certainly not forgetting. His heart would skip every time he caught a flash of blonde from the corner of his eye. The night before he had tried practicing his Whispering Deck trick, but he couldn’t even shuffle the cards without dropping them all over the place. _A magician who even can’t shuffle cards. Pathetic..._ He was a wreck, and he knew it. The passing of time had done nothing to ease the hurt and embarrassment that bit into his psyche.

Kai had stopped talking. That got Taehyun’s attention. He shook his head, looking up at the younger sheepishly. “Sorry...”

Kai smiled softly, “It’s okay, Tae. I understand.” He hummed to himself lightly. 

Taehyun sighed. “No, it’s not okay...I’m not okay.” His voice was small, and pained. “I’m not okay at all.”

The younger reached across the table and stroked the elder’s arm, trying to comfort him. “I know, Tae. But you will be, with time.”

“Is three weeks not enough time?” He asked bitterly.

“It’s different for everyone. It will take as much time as it needs,” Kai murmured. “Have you heard from him since it happened?”

Taehyun felt his cheeks burn, shame creeping through him. “No, I haven’t.”

“Really? I’m surprised.” Kai sipped his hot chocolate thoughtfully. “I would’ve thought for sure that he’d be the type to message you first.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he said. He thought better of it, but it was too late. Kai was sharp, and he knew he’d just given himself away.

“Why wouldn’t you know? I send you messages and you get those, wouldn’t you have noticed his?”

Taehyun said nothing, sipping his drink awkwardly.

“Oh. Ohhh. Really, Taehyun? Did you block him?” The words were harsh, but Kai’s lilting voice made it feel more playful than aggressive. Taehyun nodded, refusing to meet the younger’s eyes. Kai crossed his arms and hmph’ed, then reached one arm out towards him. “Gimme.” Taehyun hesitated, and the younger made grabby hands at him.

With a sigh, he drew his phone from his back pocket and placed it in Kai’s waiting palm. The younger fiddled with it for a few minutes before his eyes widened. “Ah, I _was_ right. He did message you. A lot, it looks like.” 

Taehyun snatched the phone from Kai, his eyes frantically reading the texts Beomgyu had sent to him. His already weak heart shattered. _He wanted me to be happy. He blames himself. He didn’t do anything wrong, it was all me. He was trying so hard to make things work, but I gave him nothing in return. I just pushed him away. God, and what for? Everything I do makes everything so much worse..._ He read the messages over and over, torturing himself. Then he threw his phone on the table and hung his head in his hands. “Why am I such a fuck up, Kai?” he groaned, his words muffled.

The younger patted his head gently. “We all make mistakes. Why don’t you try apologizing to him?”

The elder’s head shot up, a look of horror contorting his features. “What? No! I can’t. I...can’t. Not after everything I’ve done. He will hate me for sure.”

Kai shrugged, “He literally said “I’ll be right here” waiting for you.” 

“Yeah, and then he said “goodbye”. Goodbye is final. Everything that happened is final, and done. I can’t take any of it back now.”

“No you can’t. But you can decide what happens from this moment forward.” Kai stroked the elder’s hair. “Don’t let your past keep haunting you, Tae. It’s time to move forward. How you want to do that is up to you.” 

**+×+**

Beomgyu laid on his bed, tapping his feet against the mattress nervously. He chewed his lip as he stared at his phone screen. The last time he messaged Taehyun was over a week ago. He hadn’t seen the point of trying since. The instant response, ‘you’ve been blocked’, hurt worse than not hearing from him at all. He didn’t want to relive that pain, but Yeonjun had practically forced him to do this. After re-reading his message for the tenth time, he closed his eyes and pressed send. He steeled himself, waiting to have his heart crushed once more. 

A moment passed, but the phone in his hand stayed silent. Cautiously, he peeked one eye open. There was his message, but no reply. No automatic denial. _Did he...?_ Beomgyu’s heart immediately began to race faster with each passing second. Two minutes later and there was still no reply. Beomgyu had never been so excited to _not_ get a text before. Knowing that Taehyun had cared enough to unblock him sent shivers of hope through his body. It meant that he had thought about him. It meant that he hadn’t forgotten him or written him off completely. It meant that he might have a chance to finally, finally make things right. 

“He unblocked me,” he whispered, as if saying it out loud might jinx it. He nearly stumbled as he bolted out of bed. “He un- YEONJUN!!”


	10. His Presence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by apologizing for just how long it's taken me to write this chapter. Truthfully, I got a bit lost with where I wanted to take this story, but I'm back on track now. The next chapter will be the last one, then this story will be complete!! I hope that this story is still interesting to some of you. Thank you to everyone who has read it and commented, it truly means a lot to me.

Walking into the _Crown and Horn_ bookshop, Beomgyu didn’t see Mr. Kim at his usual spot behind the counter. Slowly, he walked through aisle after aisle, lightly dragging his fingers along the books lined up in neat rows. _This may be the last time I ever come here_ , he thought, making his fingers tremble and his breath hitch. He cleared his throat and turned to walk down the next row of bookshelves. A figure loomed in front of him, and Beomgyu yelped. He smacked his hand to his mouth in fear before dropping it to his chest to cover his rushing heart.

“I did not mean to frighten you, young magician,” Mr. Kim apologized calmly. “I was in the back sorting through boxes so I did not hear you come in. May I help you find something?”

Beomgyu bit his lip. “Actually, Mr. Kim, I’ve come to return something to you.” He reached into his bag and drew out the small red book. He held it out to Mr. Kim, who made no move to take it. 

Instead, the old man studied the book before giving Beomgyu a look of concern. “This was to go to Mr. Kang, no?”

Hesitantly, Beomgyu nodded. “It was, but...I haven’t been able to get it to him.”

Mr. Kim said nothing. Beomgyu felt awkward holding the book out for so long, but right as he went to lower his arm Mr. Kim spoke again. “I see. He has not visited here in some time, but I will see that it gets back to him.” He took the thin book, raising his eyes to meet Beomgyu’s dark ones. “Thank you for trying. Not many would have.” 

“You’re...welcome?” Beomgyu said quietly, but Mr. Kim had already turned to walk back towards the front counter. Confused, he trailed after the old man. “Sir? I have a favor to ask.” 

“Hmm?” Mr. Kim called out without turning around. “What is it?”

Beomgyu’s voice was quiet, but his eyes pleaded anxiously. “There are more pages in that book now than when you gave it to me. Will you make sure he gets all of them?” 

At that Mr. Kim glanced at the young man behind him. He offered Beomgyu a small nod and a slight smile. “Of course.”

The blonde stood for a moment more, then bowed to Mr. Kim. He opened the door to the bookshop and paused. He turned to take a quick look around as if to memorize the place, and then he left.

**+×+**

To say that Taehyun had been avoiding the bookstore would be a bit of an overstatement. It wasn’t so much avoidance as it was anxiety. The last thing he wanted to do was revisit the site of his previous regrets, which felt palpable enough in the comfort of his apartment. Stepping through the door, however, he felt a small sense of comfort. He’d been coming here long before meeting Beomgyu and he didn’t want to let anything take this place away from him, even his own foolishness. He closed his eyes as the scent of faint vanilla and dust washed over him.

“Ah, Mr. Kang!”

Taehyun nearly leapt into the air, a squeak of shock escaping his mouth. His eyes shot open, quickly taking in the site of a chuckling Mr. Kim standing before him. He took a deep breath and sad, “Hello, Mr. Kim. I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a while, it’s just that-” 

“No need to explain young man, I understand,” Mr. Kim cut him off. “Or rather, I’ve gathered.” His smile left his mouth, but the glint in his eyes only brightened, leaving Taehyun slightly confused. “Now, what brings you here after all this time, young magician?”

Instinctively, Taehyun’s eyes drifted to the floor. “Um..” 

Mr. Kim waved his hand and bent down behind the counter. “Perhaps you’re looking for your delivery?” he asked softly, voice muffled by the display case.

Taehyun stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to say. He nodded despite the fact Mr. Kim couldn’t see it.  

“Here we go!” He stood up and placed the thin book on the glass countertop. “Just came in this morning.” 

The brunette stared at the book soundlessly, mouth slightly hanging open. He thought he was reaching out to take it, only to find his hands frozen at his sides. Even his vision was locked onto the red rectangle before him, unable to move. This was the closest he had been to Beomgyu in weeks. _We must have just missed each other_ , he thought with a tinge of sadness. If he were being completely honest with himself, he wanted to see Beomgyu again. It’s for this reason he’s relieved they hadn’t crossed paths. He didn’t know how he would have reacted, but it probably wouldn’t have been good.

Mr. Kim watched Taehyun for a moment before nodding and reaching under the counter. “Let me wrap this up for you.” With deft fingers, he folded the book up in brown parchment paper and sealed it with a piece of decorative tape. He held it out to the young man.

Finally able to move, Taehyun grabbed the book. Mr. Kim kept a firm grip on it, only releasing it after saying, “You know, it’s not every day that we meet someone who’s willing to put in the effort to understand us. To see our faults and resolve to stay anyway. Those are the people you want to hold onto.”

Taehyun stared at him wide-eyed. He knew Mr. Kim was observant, but he’d been so caught up in his own world that he hadn’t considered how the old man would’ve seen everything between him and Beomgyu play out. Memories of their awkwardness flitted across his vision, as they had many times in the past weeks. He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he nodded and carefully put the book in his bag. Bowing low, he thanked Mr. Kim and walked to the door. 

“Mr. Kang?”

He turned to face the shopkeeper, waiting.

The old man offered him a warm smile. “You don’t always have to face everything alone.”

Taehyun smiled weakly, nodded again, and walked out onto the street.

**+×+**

He had thrown the book onto his bedside table and promptly tried to forget it’s existence. All it really took was a phone call from Kai. The younger boy gushed to him about Soobin for the better part of an hour, while Taehyun tried to bite back the tinge of jealousy that crept up his throat. He still wanted what they had, and he still didn’t think he deserved it. 

When he climbed into bed though, he could no longer escape it. Even after shutting the book into a drawer, he still felt its presence. _His presence_. A single remnant of what could have been. It called to him and no amount of pressing his pillow tight to his ears would quiet it.

So he gave in.

He pulled the book out of the drawer, fingers reverently tracing the spine. He meant to flip through the pages to find the place where he’d left off, but the book fell open to reveal an envelope. Hesitantly, he withdrew it.

Just a plain, white envelope. Nothing outwardly suspicious. Still, a cold shiver coursed through Taehyun’s body. He was tempted to throw the whole thing in the trash. To get rid of it. To run, like he always seemed to. But he couldn’t. _He’s trying his damnedest to reach me, even after I pushed him away. I...should at least listen._ He gingerly pulled a letter out of the envelope and unfolded it.

 

 

 

_Taehyun,_

_Hi. It’s been some time. I hope you are doing well. I haven’t written a letter in a long time, so I hope this isn’t too stiff and formal. Hell, you might not even read this...or you might. Hard to tell. But, I will write this as if you will read it. I hope you read it._

_I still don’t fully understand what happened the last time I saw you. I’ve come to terms with that. I don’t have to know, because I know what’s most important. Something I did made you feel afraid. I am so sorry for making you feel that way. It’s not something I would ever want to do. I only ever wanted to make you happy. To make you feel appreciated. To make you feel like you belong. You told me that was important to you, when your grandfather made you feel accepted. I wish I could make you feel that way, too._

_I accept you, Taehyun, for who you are. Sure you’re a bit jumpy, but you’re also sweet. You were terrifying and confident at my show, but each time we met you showed me a more vulnerable side of you. I feel blessed to have witnessed that, I have a feeling that not many people get that chance. When you had your panic attack (my friend explained that’s what it was. If I had known, I would have reacted better, I promise), I was so scared for you. I saw how lonely you felt, and I recognized that because I have that same loneliness. That same desire for connection. That same fear of getting hurt._

_I can’t promise I wouldn’t hurt you, I’m not that naive. I was never good at fortune telling anyway. But know that I would do everything in my power to ease your loneliness, if I could. I would remind you to take deep breaths. I would hold you safe in my arms when you felt the fear that makes you want to run away. I would remind you every day that you are appreciated. That you are loved._

_Maybe it’s too early to say those words. After all, I still don’t know very much about you. I may be able to guess your favorite coffee, but it’s the thoughts in your head that interest me more. The way you perceive the world so beautifully, like under the park tree. So no, I may not love you yet. But I would like to learn to love you, if you’d let me._

_I know that’s hard for you. I’ve pressed my palms against the walls you’ve built to protect yourself and recognized the same mortar I used to build my own. I can’t tear down your walls, that’s not my place. I can only stand outside and wait._

_I will wait, Taehyun. I don’t think I could help it, even if I wanted to._

_I will be waiting. I want to see you again._

_With the entirety of my heart,_

**_Beomgyu ♡_ **

 

 

 

He didn’t bother to wipe the tears from his eyes, letting them fall freely until the ink on the page grew smudged. Every part of him ached with self-pity and regret. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, rocking himself slowly in a futile attempt to stop his sadness from overwhelming him.

After an exhausting fifteen minutes, Taehyun felt he had collected himself enough to get some rest. He had unconsciously clutched Beomgyu’s letter in his fist when he was crying, crushing it in the process. He tried to smooth it out as best he could before folding it back up. It was when he went to put it back in the envelope that he noticed there was something else still inside it. His heart jumped to his throat, and he held his breath as he drew out a thin, glossy ticket.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by @blondegyuu, whose tweet gave me the push I needed to finally write the magician taegyu AU my heart always wanted.
> 
> Big shout out to @xbangtannx for being my beta reader. You're the best <3
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated! This is the first fic I've written in 5 years, and the first ever involving real people. I'm always looking to improve, so don't hesitate to provide constructive criticism if you'd like! I'm so excited to share this with you.


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